If you’ve ever watched a palm tree in a hurricane, you know what resilience looks like. The winds whip. The rain pounds. And yet, those trees bend… they don’t break. That’s resilience.
It’s not about standing tall without flinching. It’s about bending, flexing, and somehow finding the strength to stand back up straighter than before.
And when I think of resilience, I don’t have to look far. I surround myself with resilient people.
My Circle of Resilience
My mom. She’s not just strong — she’s fierce. She beat cancer years ago, a battle no one volunteers for. And when her own father challenged her over farm land in the early 2000s, she didn’t shrink back. She fought. She won. Yes… her own dad. Thanksgiving was awkward that year. But resilience doesn’t always come wrapped in pretty packages. She proved resilience isn’t just about survival — it’s about standing up for what you deserve.
My brother. As a kid, he fought through kidney issues most adults couldn’t stomach. Today he’s facing a rare ear tumor causing Bell’s palsy. The surgery to remove it risks blindness since it’s connected to the one nerve that runs from ear to eye. Imagine living with that reality every day… and still finding ways to keep going. That’s resilience at its most human.
My husband. Years ago, a terrible car accident left him with a bilateral hemorrhage. He survived when odds said otherwise. The short-term memory loss he carries is his daily battle. Yet he still gets up, pushes forward, and refuses to let that accident define him. And yes, I’ll admit it — I sometimes use his short-term memory loss to my advantage when I “forget” to mention how much I spent at Target. . . or Amazon. If resilience has a sense of humor, he’s proof.
And then there’s me.
My Story of Resilience
I’ve faced my own storms. Not the kind that land you in a hospital, but the kind that try to break your spirit. Toxic leaders who manipulated metrics to diminish marketing’s value. Hateful words meant to cut me down. Situations designed to make me question my worth.
But instead of crumbling, I built. I implemented marketing automation that proved our impact. I turned doubters into believers. I used every setback as rocket fuel. Because resilience doesn’t mean you don’t stumble. It means you don’t stay down.
As a young girl, I poured myself into gymnastics — only to come away with back issues that haunted me for years and even affected my posture. In high school, I was a big-time all-state varsity tennis player. I had some exhilarating wins… and some crushing losses that left me in tears on the court. To make things worse, my poor posture from my early gymnastics days earned me a very cruel nickname from high school classmates: “question mark. ” (Sigh. . . high schoolers are so nasty. ) At the time, it cut deep. But resilience taught me how to stand up straighter — literally and figuratively. Today my back is stronger, my posture is corrected (no more punctuation jokes), and those early experiences gave me the kind of grit that still fuels me in business and in life.
And here’s the thing: I can’t stand the opposite. The people who play the victim every time life throws a punch. The ones who collapse or spiral into endless anxiety instead of fighting their way back. Because I’ve seen — in my family, in my work, and in my own life — that the people who inspire us most are the ones who keep moving forward.
And while my medical issues aren’t as dramatic as those around me, they’ve been a constant, grinding test of resilience. I’ve dealt with horrific sinus issues my entire life. I remember being in my twenties and having a boss bluntly ask me, “Does your nose ever stop running? ” So many surgeries, endless ENT visits… and finally last year, at 40 years old, I found relief through a balloon sinuplasty (yes, Google that for fun). It wasn’t a headline-worthy battle, but it was mine. And overcoming it took resilience of a different kind.
I’ve also learned resilience through heartbreak. Years ago, I lost a teammate to suicide — something I wrote about in this article. It was one of the hardest leadership lessons of my life: that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back yourself, but about showing up for others, creating a culture where people feel safe, supported, and seen.
When Rejection Becomes Fuel
When life throws unfair curveballs, I think of Gary Vaynerchuk, who once said: “Getting rejected is awesome. Every ‘no’ is just another step closer to a ‘yes. ’”
I think of that often during life’s unfair moments… rejection doesn’t crush resilience, it fuels it.
Stats & Research That Power Resilience
You’re not imagining things… resilience really does make a measurable difference at work and in life:
- A global study from ADP Research Institute found that about 50% of the variance in employee engagement can be explained by resilience (ADP Research Institute).
- Together, resilience and psychological well-being explain 65% of the variance in employee engagement, reinforcing how deeply they’re intertwined (EELET Journal).
- Studies also show that employees with higher resilience tend to exhibit greater work engagement (NIH).
Bottom line: resilience isn’t just uplifting. It’s quantifiably transformational.
How to Build Resilience: Getting Stronger Every Day
So how do you actually build resilience? The good news is it’s not reserved for the lucky few. It’s a skill you can practice and strengthen:
Reframe challenges — Psychologists note that learning to see setbacks as opportunities for growth is central to resilience.
Invest in mental fitness — Resilience training can cut symptoms of depression and anxiety by up to 40%. Practices like mindfulness, exercise, and journaling actually rewire the brain for stress recovery.
Find resilient role models — Surround yourself with people who’ve been through storms and kept going. Their mindset is contagious… just like I’ve learned from my mom, my brother, and my husband.
Learn from the best — Some of my favorite resources on resilience:
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown (on courage and vulnerability)
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by MarkManson. net (a refreshingly blunt take on choosing what really deserves your energy)
- The Resilience Shield by Dr Dan Pronk Ben Pronk Tim Curtis (practical resilience framework)
- You Are Awesome by Matthew Syed (building confidence through failure)
- The Tim Ferriss Show (high-performer strategies)
- Unlocking Us with Brené Brown (conversations on vulnerability and resilience)
Words That Carry Us Forward
Timeless wisdom:
“Fall seven times and stand up eight.” – Japanese Proverb
“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell and got back up again.” – Nelson Mandela
“If you can’t fly then run… whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
Modern leadership firepower:
“Resilient leaders don’t wait for a storm to pass; they learn to dance in the rain.” – John C. Maxwell
“The best leaders build resilience not in crisis, but in preparation for it.” – James Clear
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before.” – Elizabeth Edwards
Anand Mahindra reminds us that “nothing lasts forever” — even the darkest moments shift with time.
Scott Mautz, former P&G exec, calls resilience the “leadership superpower of our times”, urging us to reframe setbacks as opportunities.
And Gary Vaynerchuk says it best: “Getting rejected is awesome. Every ‘no’ is just another step closer to a ‘yes. ’” I think of that often during life’s unfair moments… rejection doesn’t crush resilience, it fuels it.
The Takeaway
Resilience doesn’t mean life won’t knock you down. It means you refuse to stay down.
It’s the secret ingredient behind every great leader, every strong family, every lasting legacy.
And maybe the best part? Resilience is contagious. Surround yourself with resilient people… and steer clear of the ones who break at the first sign of struggle, who live in victim mode, or who let anxiety define them.
Energy is contagious — choose wisely.
So here's my question for you: Who in your life taught you what resilience really means?
Because if palm trees can bend through hurricanes, people we love can weather storms we can’t imagine, rejection can actually be fuel… and if I can go from “question mark” posture jokes in high school to standing tall today — then maybe resilience is the ultimate comeback story we all carry.