If you are seeing the need to get involved in aging parent care, you are not alone. It is a growing problem. And the burden on folks who are just ramping up their own ability to earn more at this point in their careers are in danger or losing momentum. You may be torn between the need to take care of yourself first, and family if you have kids, and the need to help vulnerable aging parents.
The most common problem we encounter at AgingParents.com, where we offer professional legal, healthcare, financial and family dynamics advice is the issue of dementia. No one is prepared for that. Families see an elder starting to lose memory, asking the same questions over and over, or other signs of confusion and loss of ability to manage their lives.
What every adult child needs to understand about aging loved one's memory loss that interferes with daily life is to take this seriously. Forgetting names or dates can be a part of normal aging, but significant short term memory loss is not normal! Some say it this way: forgetting where you put your keys is one thing. Forgetting what they're for is different. It is often associated with what medical professionals call "mild cognitive impairment" but that MCI often leads to dementia. Will your loved one develop dementia? This can happen and all family needs to be prepared for the reality that if dementia develops, care will be needed.
Many decisions will be necessary for family. They include how to pay for care or give the care themselves, how to keep the elder safe, and how to cope with the emotions you must experience in the long journey ahead. You can be sure of a few things. One, it's going to cost a lot. And two, you are likely to feel torn between your own responsibilities and the needs of aging parents. Guilt looms.
Related: When Dementia Strikes Without a Power of Attorney in Place